Why "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" Is the Perfect Coming-of-Age Film

Teenage love has been a major aspect of coming-of-age films for many years. To All the Boys I've Loved Before is no exception. This film focuses upon the struggles of adolescent love and representing Asian Americans. This is very rare in coming-of-age films. In most, whites star as the leads, so it was a nice change to see an Asian American lead. To All the Boys I've Loved Before is the perfect coming-of-age movie for its portrayal of young love, representation, and diversity.

This film is about Lara Jean Song Covey. She has had crushes before, but she has never had a boyfriend. She writes love letters to the guys she likes, but she never plans on sending them. They stay in the hatbox her mother gave her before she died. However, one day, her love letters are mailed out. To ward off her sister's ex-boyfriend, Lara Jean ends up in a fake relationship with Peter Kavinsky (Mohan). The storyline is predictable, with Lara Jean and Peter ending up together at the end. But it is not like other romantic films. To All the Boys I've Loved Before actively deconstructs the falsehoods of romantic ideals peddled by most rom-coms (Joho). It knows that love is the small, everyday gesture of driving all the way across town to the Korean market to buy her favorite yogurt drink and then having that gesture backfire. Love does not blossom in the instant of a stolen, wordless kiss in the rain; it blooms over a series of awkward conversations filled with stutters and whatevers, as you anxiously show each other your scars (Joho).

What adds to this story is how real these characters are. Although Lara Jean has dreamed about love for many years, she does not allow people in. Since her mother died, she thinks she needs to protect herself from the outside world. As Lara Jean said, "The more people you let into your life, the more they can just walk right out." She stays home watching Golden Girls with her sister and keeps her emotional needs to fantasies because they can't die or leave. Lara Jean becomes quiet, hoping nobody sees her as a coward for not wanting to let anyone else in (Joho). Peter, whose parents divorced when he was young, understands her fears. Even though divorce is not as horrid as the death of a loved one, it still impacts how close adolescents want to be to others. We are the generation who grew up with the reality of a 50 percent divorce rate, and a lot of the half that stayed together should have divorced (Joho). Peter helps Lara Jean realize that love means taking risks. That love means allowing yourself to open up and trust.

Representation is also an important part of To All the Boys I've Loved Before. As stated before, most coming-of-age movies star white leads, such as The Edge of Seventeen or Lady Bird. Lara Jean is half-white, half-Korean. She lives with her white, American father and two sisters (Mohan). However, Lara Jean's race is not the main point of the story. It makes her who she is, for sure, but the film is not encompassed around it. Jenny Han, the author of To All the Boys I've Loved Before, said this in an interview with Vulture:

Being Asian-American is obviously a part of my identity, but it doesn’t encapsulate Lara Jean’s whole identity. I think oftentimes when you see a story about a person of color, it ends up being about that person’s struggle with being a person of color. I wanted that to not be the point of her story (Mohan).

Han makes an excellent point. When there is a story about a person of color, the story ends up being about the hardships of being a person of color. There should be more films that represent people of color. There should be a story about a Black girl going to college and finding love or a story about an Asian American being confused about her sexuality. Representation is so necessary. When Han was trying to find a studio to turn her novel into a movie, she discovered that most studios did not care about having an Asian American lead. One producer told her, "As long as the actress captures the spirit, age, and race, it does not matter" (Mohan). Han was not pleased with this. She ensured that the studio that produced the film hired an Asian American lead. After the film was cast, Jenny Han wrote about why she was so adamant that Lara Jean be played by an Asian American actor:

Because when you see someone who looks like you, it reveals what is possible. It’s not just maybe I could be an actress. It’s maybe I could be an astronaut, a fighter, a president. A writer. This is why it matters who is visible. It matters a lot (Mohan).

I want to see other coming-of-age films like To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Ones where love is messy, wounded, petty, neurotic, awkward, full of fits and starts (Joho). Ones with leads of color, whose identity is part of their lives, but not the whole point of their stories. Coming-of-age films cannot be about weak love, or about unrelatable whites. They need to be diverse, just like To All the Boys I've Loved Before is.